Friday, April 16, 2004

A thoroughly bad day...
One of my most irritataingly humiliating ever....
Woke up at 7:50 AM...ten excruciatingly short mins b4 sales management class..GOD(the marketing one,that is..) would be upset if anybody's late..
Basic stuff taken care of...second time in 8 months that i broke rule 1 in the "Kini rulebook"-"Take a bath b4 u go out anywhere !!"(Broke it last when i had an IT system management exam on a sunday-woke up late even then !!)
Brisk walk to the classroom...a discrete entry made...still draws attention(of the unnecessary kind,though-a coupla juniors start giggling)..Settle down to an interesting lecture on Sales force recruitment and training..No,am so popular,i have to be involved,come what may...A wine shop example comes into the discussion outta nowhere and all 9 heads(including the Prof's) turn towards me to hear the pearls of wisdom...some serious impression/image management to be done...Don't worry,i tell myself,the day will only get better...Not quite...it gets worse...A surprise test after the short break..An assignment basically given to a fresh MT to predict the no. of salesmen for a given territory given no. of customers...
Me, Vips and Surd put our heads together and decide to take on the rest of the class...after 15 mins of brainstorming,we've looked at most angles and come up with a no.(or that's what we think !!)...the other group goes ahead and presents a pretty good analysis(courtesy a summer project that one of them did..)
We go on stage and start off......And that's all there was to it...both me and vips totally blank out !! A completely messed up analysis...We didnt look at one critical aspect,didnt use any structure/format( viz an ABC/FSN analysis,etc)...Errors in the estimation...Felt humiliated standing there and trying to figure out what we had discussed...No criticism from Veeru but a lack of 100% effort from my side and just not living up to my expectations meant that I was very flustered at the end of the session...
The crux of the matter lay not in the fact that I messed up in this class but that I was not able to perform...Even when your mind is wandering and not quite at full throttle,u are expected to perform and sell a solution to a client !!There are no second chances and enuf people exist on this planet who are more talented than u'll ever be and willing to perform when it counts...
Competition among peers will exist and can come from anywhere-be it a wharton passout,an IIM alumnus or a local B-school grad...If ur fingers are not rite on the button,u r bound to lose...
what i have increasingly seen is that i am starting to lose the edge...not that i had a razor sharp one but it was enuf to hold my own under attack during a presentation..."A jack of all trades but king of none"-thats what comes to mind...have i really learnt much after these 2 years???Soft skills yes...organization and co-ordination skills have improved-true...but functional knowledge not as much..Will need all of it when i start something on my own..something to reflect upon(Need some booze/dope badly..)
Got my offer letter today...I am truly and surely chained to the organization now...
The evening ended with me getting out bowled first ball to a good bowler-something i hate...bowling was decent but no results again...
Long delayed treat on the anvil...Nice dinner with a good friend...So far that has been the silver lining in the whole day.. & India's win vs. Pak,of course..not that either of them will make too much of a difference to my life...hmm...
Life just seems to have lost direction...One person messed up my life so badly and she doesnt even know it !!!
Focus...Direction..and never lose your temper..the Buddha said that...seems relevant to me today...

ritz

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Watched "Meenaxi-a tale of 3 cities" when I went home for a coupla days..Refreshing change from the run-o' the mill stories that we see currently..Raghuvir yadav is fantastic as the absent-minded writer, tabu rocks with all 3 roles-the hyderabadi ittar seller,the jaisalmer rich kid with a heart & pani bachao andolan(sic.) worker and finally as the orphan in prague interested in Indian culture and history...Kunaal Kapoor debut performance is great too as the musician who doesnt make it big and ends up a garage mechanic...
Definitely not timepass...Go only if u r in the mood for some "stuff" in the movie...not 4 the Sooraj Barjatiya/Karan Johar marriage mish-mash enthusiast where the more garish the colors,the more successful the movie !!!
Highlights of the movie-the song "chinamma chilakamma" & the 2 PYT's that came to the movie theatre and were reportedly gawking at me !!! ;-0..I guess,i am getting too old for this.....

ritz

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