Negativism ??

Was listening to Rabbi's "Bulla ki Jana" on the way to work on the radio today...

Made me wonder...The way he(the poet,Baba Bulle Shah) says "I am neither this nor that" and so on...and says " I do not know who I am"..."Eliminate the other options to land up at what is probably closest to what u want" is the logic..It's probably not exactly what u want..but,considering the circumstances,bearably,toleratably,close...
And he had it figured out a long long time back...

Why do we humans like the track ? I think I know the reason..

Because we are born negativists..Negativism as I define it is probably best illustrated with the example below ...

Situation:A choice between Option A or Option B is provided to us..Both arent perfect and not quite what we wanted..simply bcos we dont really know what we want..
We know this though...
"I dont want to do A a lot lot more than B" and so...end up doing B ! And no wonder we are unhappy...

I did my engineering cos I couldnt manage to get into IIT for a Btech..(through legal means !)
Question:Why did I want to make it to IIT ? No answers to this day...Why did I need to be an engineer ? Would I have made a better Doctor,an architect,a photgrapher, a journalist,a bus driver, a businessman ??? No answers again...

I did it in the mechanical stream..Why ? Cos I wanted to avoid all of the other branches...Did i tend to love what i did??
Yes and No..there's the usual "yeah,as long as I am at it,I mite as well enjoy it..and "atleast I see what I am doing..unlike some vague Electrons and variables that I cant even see.."
" Machine metal,Get spindle.."was the motto...

And then..My first job...used pagers,divided blore into zones..major job-hunting and co-ordinated interview later..first job..Why jump at it ? why not wait for something better ? No answers..
"Just go with the flow..No options=the only option..." was my answer when questioned by friends and foe alike..

6 months and second job..Why ? better pay,better coffee served !!!
Better job ? NO !!

6 more months and third job..Why ? Got bored doing the same thing everyday..( !!!)
Better profile at the job ?No..again !! It was Job 1 repackaged..worked for the client rather than the co. that i worked for earlier..

MBA ? yeah..maybe...dunno..dont want to go out of India and do an MS..to return jobless and pennyless..and without self-respect(this was 2001,remember-the big bust and zero jobs)...So...MBA it is...

MBA- at IITM or IISc ? Dont want to stay at home..lemme see what hostel and staying away from home is all about..So IITM it is..

Elective at MBA,IITM:Finance doesnt make sense...HR is too much talk..Ops will mean shop-floor for life..Systems will mean glued to the computer and branded a geek for the rest of my life..So...Marketing it is..Besides i think the Prof. who handles it is ulti-cool..

After-MBA Job (No. 1..and counting)-Dont want to work from home..So Non-Bangalore Job it is !
Marketing and Sales is the thing to do..Learn ! Get your hands dirty ! sell shampoo to a bald guy and soap to ppl who face water shortages ! GE,Mindtree,IR And so many others-Bah...Geek job is a no-go..My chance will come ! Patience is a virtue..

Sales job at Cavinkare(My dream company to this day !) plays truant and my world is shattered..Co. coming next day is TCS..Would have jumped at any job (even a Bihar Govt. Junior Sweeper-On contract !)

Land the job..Get thrown into the jungle called Mumbai and I live happily ever after ? Not quite.. the saga continues..

And it's not unique to me alone..Everybody's going through the same experience..

More..some other day...Inshallah..

PS:Cant say I havent enjoyed and had fun doing all that I ever did though..
Have made some great friends along the way and done decently well at whatever I did..
But..and it will be a "but" that will nag me for life... it wasnt exactly the way I wanted it to be..Maybe someday I'll live my dream...2 years..Just 2 years...

A salute to all the people who figured out what they wanted to do with their life and are doing exactly that..Whats the secret ? How did u do it ??

ritz

SUCCESS....One step at a time...

Finally....finally...finally...success sweet and completely greedily individual !!!

It's an ordinary day in an otherwise humdrum ordinary life...waking up(ugh.hate waking up !! ever since childhood !!)..commute(bad day..late for the train and the guy next to me is peeking into my newspaper and irritating the hell outta me !)...breakfast ( just abt bearable-It's just flour and sambar powder dammit !! why cant we get a decent idli-sambar in this hellhole !! )......work(Questions in my head-what am i doing ? why am i wasting my time here ?where is all this leading to ? How is it even remotely changing my life or that of others ??? )....Lunch(have lost my appetite..3 Pm is NOT lunchtime !! )..4 cigarettes later and still no answers..Mailing friends left,right and centre and working-It's called multi-tasking...atleast ppl call it that..i call it diarrohea...

And then...evening time(8 PM in ITworld-speak)..and outta the blue !! My first PL/SQL portlet worked !! and THAT for a guy who was paranoid of code is huge wokay !!

So...

What does this mean ???

Firstly..wil be able to stick to tomorrows deadline...

Second..Means no pushing around Mr.Urs Truly cos he doesnt understand code,falana,falana...he hath arrived..agreed,to a certain puny level only..but..he hath arrived...

More importantly means..I have actually contributed throughout the length of the project and am an asset to the team..

Now,the tougher part...How to be an invaluable asset and somebody whose absence will mean chaos...

Evil me...
;-0

ritz

Top Ten War Profiteers of 2004

The top ten War Profiteers of 2004..via Guerrillanews

All of them related to the present american administration in some way or the other..

ritz

SWADES..REVISITED...

Watched SWADES for the 2nd time over the weekend..Good start to the new year...

Gandhi quote at the start of the movie...

"Hesitating to act because the whole vision might not be achieved or because others do not yet share it, is an attiutude that only hinders progress"

Yeh Tara,woh taara, har taara..The track is too much...as is the title track..

But the crowning glory...for me,atleast, are the following lines that SRK mouths from the Duseehra theme song-Pal pal hai bhaari..

Ho..raam hi toh karuna mein hai,shaanti mein raam hai
Raam hi hai ekta mein, pragati mein raam hai
Raam bas bhakton nahin shatru ke beech chintan hai
Dekh taj ke paap raavan, raam tere mann mein hai
Raam tere mann mein hai, raam mere mann mein hai
Raam toh ghar ghar mein har, raam har aangan mein hai
Mannse raavan jo nikaale, raam uske mann mein hai

ritz