Rahul and..kajal...dead ! Rejoice !!!*Evil,devil grin..right about here..sorry,emoticon-challenged :D*
His unturbaned unholiness, a.k.a
surd,is not in town...
he's on a break b/w jobs..meanwhile,mere jaasoos jo chaaron taraf phailey huey hain..gave me the news on his whereabouts !
:D
'
Girl psycho' fundas..his forte,he thinks..make that...he hopes !
Rahul and kajal..surd and his ex's..
Kajal,i conclude,is a figment of his wild imagination...
but i also conclude,she was born out of his interest in a particular girl,while in college..
And,if you ever wanna piss him off..ask him "
yaar,zindagi mein tera lakshya kya hai ? duniya dekhna ??"
:))
*she said that,apparently..when asked ! Surd...was a little floored..called me immediately..i was in bombay then..
"
Macha...her ambition is to see the world da...what can you say to something like that ?" "WHAT ??" :D *
He had special thing for one of the NIFT girls(National Institute of Fashion Technology)..ask him and he'll giggle like a li'l girl ! :D
FYI...NIFT : IITM :: Oasis : Desert...catch my point ? eggjactly ! :)
He and Rohit used to date a coupla them..and i used to get to be...the nanny..
*The Nift girls,maybe a coupla years over 20..max ! minors,actually..Which is probably why i didnt find them interesting...*Well...they used to go out in groups..everywhere !
and one 'extra specimen' used to tag along..with the couples..
Emergency mein
kini hi toh kaam aata hai,as usual...more importantly,kyunki..
the theory of selective elimination rules...
Kelya is busy with his then-new-found and now only-priority..wife :D
Shubham is ancient and..will not get involved in this kinda nonsense..
And..db is a girl..and unfortunately for us and fortunately for her...has sexual preferences incompatible with those of ours :P
toh..bacha kaun ? the dhobi or..kini...
so,
"Macha free grub da..tomorrow nite booze-sponsored da..
tumhein kuch nahi karna..sirf,chaperone her to the movie...
yes ! I will pay for the petrol,before you ask !!
and keep her at a distance..from us,will ya !? ":D
Hmm...Free grub ? free booze ?? free movie ??? WOW !!
"yeah sure..dosti ki khaatir..sirf...dosti ki khaatir...remember,you owe me one !"
:D
besides,i owed them,big..for having putting fight for me in a similar situation,during my summers :D
therefore..inspite of the constantly-yacking..loud..i-have-an-opinion-about-everything girl..a 'pink' movie...
and a zero profit venture...
(She had a faithful and tongue-hanging-out-mouth slobbering idiot of a...rahul...already.."rahul,paani le aana !" "yes memsaab..")I went..
*Damn ! i dont even remember her name now !I didnt..even then! Cant be blamed..all their names started with an S !*
Anyways..Rahul and Kajal have ruled the roost at surd's page..irritates me no end...the gutless-rahul character..
*"Usne tumhaari khuddari ko lalkaara hai,yaar..come'on sam ! mard ban ! Be a man !!"*
I thot..i should deliver some pearls of wisdom,as well and..murder rahul,in the process !
*"pitega saala.."* :D
Once rahul is dead,Kajal will die a capulet death..slow..agonizing..and all dard-e-dil, dard-e-jigar...leaving zero evidence of my involvement..
Before i start..the perfunctory..what else..an ultra-defensive disclaimer..
*Disclaimer : These are on the basis of my verrrrrrry limited experience..
In my defense,I have learnt enuf of it..from each experience..to come up with these...and consquently..stay away from that sex !*Rule no. 1...all-encompassing..over-engulfing..completely-enveloping..overbearing funda...
WYSNEWYG...
'What you see is...(never ! ever !!...)what you get...'To elucidate..
She mite seem to be a bomb..but will turn out to be a...'naari'/'malligai poo'/'yakkkow'...once you get to know her..
*naari...hindi..borrowed from gaurav..earlier of the 'JFOM' and dal-achaar fame..now..of the disappeared-after-marriage fame..*
*malligai poo...tamil for jasmine flowers..on the head...get the picture ? courtesy,my earlier-thee-pidikka gal,the now-invisible saami..*
*yakkow...kannada..rustic version of 'akka'..shishter...courtesy,vikki's experiences in college :D*Worse...she mite seem vice versa..and turn out..ek-dum-ulta-pulta-all-wired-wrong-in-the-brain types too..
*I had asked a girl out,once..at iit (for surd,yaar ! not for me !! am not that low on self-esteem and aatmasamman !!)
She refused..that kissa,another day...
:P
A few days later Ms.Liv-tyler-in-the-flesh was seen..well..shining..she had shaved her hair off ! :O Crazy place..iitm..crazy people..sharav junta :)*Rule no.2...The 'perfect one' is a mirage...how can a girl be 2 things ? at the same time ?
independent and..docile ?! mischevious..and serious ? doesnt give a damn..and caring ?? Hmm..
A guy cant..so...a girl cant..'all of us are the same in the eyes of god',na ?
:P
Rule no.3...the 'soulmate' happens to 1 out of 10 people..the other 9 are still paying their alimony settlements...in installments !
:-/
Ok..enuf nonsense..forget the above..but..somethings i have noticed..observed...and understood..
1. Girls are atleast 5 years ahead in mental maturity..to a guy,same age..proved again and again..and unfortunately...again...
2. A guy will talk specifically,when it comes to talking about the parameters/attributes,he would NOT want in the girl...
'Not fat..not dark..not thakeli..not boring..not over-smart..not over-ambitious....'oh..he'll talk abt the stuff he would want..specifically at it...
'ghar ki saaf safai kare,jhadoo poncha maare,do bacche..bacchon ki dekhbaal..etc..' almost kaamwalibai specific !
Girls..on the other hand..will talk vaguely..about the attributes she would want..in the guy...
"Accha ho...mujhse pyaar kare..makes me laugh..decently well off..doesnt use invective..no bad habits..gives me my space..overall..is a nice guy.."Define 'Accha',yaar ! and the rest of the above adjectives ! somebody, please !!!
:-/
One is positive..the other is negative...i dont want to take sides..samajhdaar..ishaara..enuf said..
i dint say a thing ! :D
3. And i love this...a lot..in the guys...
"See 3..Shortlist 2...BHAM !! decide on 1 !!! We have a winner,ladies and gentlemen !"
Altho..The loop rewinds..next month..on fast forward 4X..
:D
See 5..shortlist 3...decide on 2...two-time...get dumped by both...Next month..16X !
See 5..shortlist all 5..reputation in tatters..drink at the bar...alone...
On the other hand..girls.."
knight in shining armor"..."
Sapnon ka saudagar".."
Sweep me off my feet"...and..
"
Does he come in black ? a size 39 ? low-waist ? boot-cut ? no buttons,only zips...v-neck..no ? ok...next store..
WHAT ? blue is on sale ?!! size 39 ? low-waist..."and so on..and so bloody forth !
:-/
I had gone with J to pick up a shirt ,a few days back..
*guys..dont go shopping..guys and the word 'shop' are antonyms,girls !*
While J was trying one out..i saw a pattern/style i had been looking for..for a long time !
I told the salesman..
"Get me something just like this,my size...and i'll buy it rite now ! I dont care abt the price !!"Mr.Over-eager-for-a-handsome-commission salesman did..i was impressed..dint even attempt a bargain..bought it..job..done !
and...i hope,point...made !
Anyways...Enuf..for today...There are lots more from where they came from..but...
1. i am bored..and tired and sleepy with writing this post..
2. Surd needs to have something to keep his blog interesting,rite...and..
3. There are a few things in this world that are a lot more fun when you make mistakes and learn from it..i cant tell you everything,simply bcos of that..
:)
So...to conclude..
2 movie quotes..'Why do we need the opposite sex ?' bcos...and Listen carefully..
For the guys..remember...
"Bcos...you make me wanna be a better man..."('As good as it gets')
For the girls..remember..
"He wont make me laff..but he wont make me cry..either..."('Ocean's 11')
And..
"The best ideas are always realized when sitting on the pot !"
:D
*Unrelated,i know..but so true ! my Economics teacher,in school,MR,by name..used to say that ! Eureka ! indeed !! :D*Why ? Cos,Thats the one last bastion of singledom...left in this crowded world..
That's why !:)
