"I'm pretty tired..I think i'll go home now..."

Done..ready to quit...this place...
It's been something i have contemplated for some time now...
Ever since i realised..."dude...4 years...4 years !! of blogging !! :O"

The series of simulated shutdowns..a.k.a 'breaks'..have worked..
:)

So...I quit ritzkini.blogspot.com...Reasons...

1. I am angered by the ban on blogs,by the Indian Government..
This is as good a sign of protest as any.
Yes..the ban has been revoked..but the thot that i could be denied something..pretty much struck home..
I shldnt be so dependent on something/someone...so much so that i have a tough time..later..
There are enuf dependencies..to...not add one more...
:)

2. 7/11 made me realise a few things...

Dude..all your plans,ambitions,hopes,etc...can vanish in that one moment of madness...
Triggered by the mental imbalance in somebody else' mind..
He went thru something..so he was angry...
and he did..what he thot was a right..to right a wrong..a perceived wrong...
And there's not much you can do about it...
When somebody has intent,there's very little you can do to convince him/her,otherwise...

Whatever..So...
Either..I can live life to the fullest...and enjoy it,while it lasts...
or sit and write about it on a black screen...
after spending the whole day in office...in front of it..
losing out on both...time...and energy...
and the experiences I forego...to write a post...
Not worth it...I believe...

I have not finished a book/movie in one go,for a long time now...
both of which have worked as a good stress-reliever,for me...

A blog post took time at nite...
Work,play,drink,dinner...
And a post...kinda tiring,actually...

Reading the newspaper/novel/watching a movie...after that ?
Too late dude ! 1:30 AM !!! have to wake up at 7 !! 'Min 5-1/2 hrs nap time' !!
So..
:)

3. Contrary to how I sound here...
I am not really a very talkative person...
Most bloggers arent,i believe..
I was talking way too much recently...

Also...Am a bit of a loner...
ok,yaars..am a loner,i accept ! happy ?
:)
I like doing things i like...hate it when my agenda is messed up...
And...
I dont like my life being a 'Truman Show'...anymore...
And it's increasingly looking to me to have become one...
which i am not entirely comfortable with...
The initial thrill/satisfaction of...
"Wow ! People actually read my stuff..and like it !!" was great...i accept...
But..Ego needs..and will always need more..more..more..
And then..even the more seems...less...

Which is not really a good thing..
And..It's a good time to quit...
No loose ends...No remainders...
Complete HOTO...done...
(HOTO=Handover-takeover,a very typical term in my line of work..nonsense of course,both work and word...:)

Have made some good friends,here...Some loyal readers...thanks...from the heart..
:)
Some frank...very frank,hate mail...
*loved the hate mail more...cracks me up when i read them
"Wow ! Somebody really had a lotta time on their hands.."
:D*

So...Friends,foes,anybody-in-between...Inshallah,we'll meet sometime...
Thanks...for everything..
:)

4. Contrary..again..to how i sound here..
"I have.....goals"...
And..my time is currently very limited..both online...and chronological...
My job takes up much of my time...

It's not a job i love...neither is it a job i hate...
I work..they pay...simple...
I am decently good at it...Not great..not bad,either...
I get decently well-paid..no cribs about that,either...

*I have always believed that i would have been as good/bad/adequate at any other job...*
But...There's something called a "my calling"...
I think i have got it..for the first time in my life..a 'lakshya'...
And...I hope to reach it..someday...hope,keyword...

Step 1...needs some ground work...

Step 1's backup plan..
needs me to be in india...which again needs some groundwork...
working on it..scheming...on how not to be sent abroad..again...
A visit to Israel..is planned...
An israeli visa ensures a non-visa to most middle-east countries...
Which is the geography my company is focussing on..
Which means...i will not be sent..again..
And will be domestic or offshoring projects..
which is exactly what i want..
Inshallah...plan=reality...
:D

And...My calling...
This job definitely isnt..it...This industry,in itself,isnt...
I dont see myself doing stuff i do,today....even next year ! Forget 5 years from now !
:D
"I ran to get where I was going..I never thot,it would take me anywhere..."
Exactly..
:)
So...i need to work towards my objective..
Which demands will-power...something i have lacked..always..

Rage...and restlessness...has always fuelled my will-power...before...
And blogging kinda keeps me calm...
2+2 makes 4...and 4 minus 2..is 2...

So..I need to quit blogging...to be bored/a-cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof..
And even hope to reach my goal...hope..is the keyword...again...
:)

Well...those for you...were some of the reasons i have decided to quit....and intend to stick to it...

But..most important reason...of all...
The reason...
is the statement above,that i have a big problem with...
the 'you'...from the "those for you"
:)

When i write...
bcos,i need to make a point to others...instead of making a point..to myself...
I have a problem...
Beats the funda of blogging,i feel...
a private...but public diary...kinda confusing...
If i have made the point to myself,i dont need to write it...
And if i am sure...i dont need to know,again..
This was and will always be,my archives..
What i went thru b/w 24..and 28...
A fantastic makeover..
:)
Some..for the better...some for the infinitely worse...
:D

Some i am proud of..some not-so-proud of..
I have no regrets...I lived life..contentment..
:)

Going forward...I intend to pretty much do everything possible...in this world...
From Travel show production..to abstract art...to becoming a politician..Someday..
:)

Which means i need to be able to move on...from one thing to another..without pain..and getting stuck...
This is one more step towards the larger goal..
Having the ability to take up/quit something..anytime i want to...
And be successful at whatever i do take up...
I see no boundaries..to intent..and focus..and possibilities...
So...I quit..

And...This place..was innocuous..uninteresting..boring...random...before...
had no blogrolling code..no comment box...no statcounter...no nothing..before...
And was therefore fun...to me !

Today..it's a shopping mall...with AC !
*Hate the damn thing...symobolizes,to me..all thats artificial in this world,An AC !*

Shopping mall...huge..glitzy...brite lights...capitalist-pig-dream-come-true !
*Yes..Am..and will be always be a left-of-the-right commie...
:D*

Something i let this place become..unconsciously...
Something I did..

No issues with any of you..
Just me...and my absurdities...
:)

Impersonal..cold..one more like so many others...This place...
Unlike some other places where things are written..from the heart..
Look them up on the left...on my blogrolling list..some real gems..
:)
So...

And...Ask anyone amongst our generation...And the answer is always the same...
"I want to be different...alagh! "
:)
Well..how different am I...if all of us think like that ?
:)

So...while nobody knew about the word...'blog'...i started...
And when everyone seems to have a blog,now..i quit...
:)
'Alagh',na ??
:D

Anyways..
Forget it...am done...i know it...and that... for me..is enuf...
So...
"I am pretty tired..I think i'll go home now.."

And please dont say..
"Well..what are we supposed to do...now ?!!!"
:(

PS: If i have got to know you via this place,please do stay in touch via mail..
I promise to reply asap...
And...Thanks..for everything...
"Accha saath diyaa safar mein..."
:)
No..i dont intend to reply to comments..to this post..if any..
or visit..this...or any of your places..anymore..
A shutdown..to me..should be a complete shutdown..
Kinda like an old girlfriend...unnecessary pain/memories...
Unnecessary...
:)
So...final bye..
inshallah..shabba-khair...
:)

Phew...thak gaya...lamba tha,nahi..
:D